The Marauders: Reloaded
by Martini Gal
Summary: It's the Second Generation and the Marauders are back. There will be pranks, a Potter, a Red-head, a truckload of romance, madness, Slytherins and in which McGonagall realizes that the sequel is usually worse than its predecessor.UNDER CONSTRUCTION
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: _Hi everyone Martini Gal here. Now this is the prologue, the rest is soon to come as soon as my brain and i can come to a standard agreement... anyways. Hope you all like it, and PLEASE REVEIW. I need the feedback even if i'm not giving you much to work with._**

_**Righty-o, now on to the story...**_

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The Marauders: Reloaded

Prologue

Standing on the platform 9 ¾ there was a strong sense of déjà vu lingering in the air. Of course, it went by unnoticed by all those present, for they were far to young to understand it or had simply written it off as the excitement of finally being free of their children for the next three months.

What they did understand though, was a feeling of something coming full circle. Like all those unfurled endings that had made up their haphazard lives were finally twining together, their ragged edges finally meeting after three generations. Of course, they had now idea as to why.

As for our fair Professor McGonagall, she both understood and felt the changes in the air, and had proceeded to break into a cold sweat. Not that she would ever admit to that.

For you see, it had been while she was sipping her morning tea that her teacup sported a deep crack down the side, quite suddenly. Not a drop was spilt. Now, she may have been known for her prowess in wizardry, and Gryffindor resilience over the ages, but even Minerva McGonagall had the good sense to fear what was to come if the day was beginning with such omens.


	2. Chapter 2: Step 1

**A/N: Well here it is peoples, the first chapter. It was hell to write and it may be tad long but anywho. Just so ya know I'm a newbie so it would be much appreciated if all critisism was contructive... soooo moving along this chapter is taking place in the Great Hall, i skipped the whole train and bout ride and got to the juicy stuff. Please enjoy!**

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**C**hapter 1: **S**tep 1

The sorting hat nodded with a most conspiratorial look on its face. Not that anyone actually noticed this, but that was beside the point. The point was, that the sorting hat was conspiring with fate to start the healing of a tri-generational scar, with two words. Two words so simple yet so complex that the genius of it all would be looked upon as pure, unadulterated lunacy.

"SLYTHERIN HOUSE!"

The hall went still.

The poor child that was seated under the said hat at that moment was none other than one Albus Severus Potter, who was currently as motionless as the crowd. In those few fitfully hushed moments, he entertained the thoughts that the hat had made a mistake and that this was not happening to him. Alas, he should have considered that him being who he was, that this should have been expected.

He was going to kill James.

Then, as if to pronounce the complete awkwardness of the situation, someone sneezed.

There was then a snicker.

Then, highly obnoxious clapping rang thoughout the hall originating from the Gryffindor table, or more accurately, James Potter. The rest of the Weasley/Potter clan followed his lead. Then, albeit, somewhat hesitantly, it was joined by the Slytherin table. Well, at least those few who were able to pull themselves out of a shocked stupor and refused to be showed up by a few bloody Gryffindors.

Thankfully, the moment had passed and poor Albus was practically thrown out of the seat when Professor Sprout removed the accursed hat from his head.

Quickly, he made his way to the Slytherin table, sitting where a wide berth had been made in his honour, his housemates sneering in greeting. He decided at that moment that he was definitely sleeping with one eye open tonight.

_Well_, he thought to himself_, this is certainly wonderful._

Sadly, the world didn't choose to end solely for his benefit.

Therefore, instead of thinking about his doomed predicament, he decided to focus on his stomach. He was hungry. The last time he had eaten was at the Burrow for lunch and he needed food. His mother was always telling him how he had a bottomless pit for a stomach and he always told her that brilliant minds had high metabolism. When she mentioned his brother's appetite that rivaled his own, he explained to her the energy required to support chronic stupidity.

Briefly, Albus had considered engaging one of his fellow housemates, but if facial expressions were anything to go by, that would be detrimental to his health, so wisely he wasn't going to risk it. Maybe that was why he was put into Slytherin, for being a coward even if it was justified. Also, as if to emphasize his point, the one person who seemed to not care about being contaminated by his mere presence was big enough to snap him in two with his fingers. Therefore, the cons of opening his mouth far out-weighed the pros, not to mention he didn't even know names of most the people surrounding him. He wasn't really paying attention to what was going on, what with finally being at the Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.

"Scorpius Malfoy!"

Well, he knew that name. Albus brought his attention back to the front of the room, where he saw the boy that uncle Ron had pointed out back at King's Cross.

Looking every bit the Malfoy that he was, Scorpius waltzed up the steps and plopped down almost gracefully into the seat. The sorting hat nodded and tilted its pointy top thoughtfully before speaking.

"Another Malfoy, hmmmm. Curious, all the potential for Slytherin, yet you would do wonderfully in Gryffindor. I wonder."

There was another moment of stillness, as everyone awaited the sorting hats decision. Albus had his fingers crossed, hoping against hope that whatever Diety had saw fit to toss him in with a bunch of snakes had the same inclination towards the Malfoy with lions. Sadly, Scorpius was not about to let that happen.

"Now listen here you balmy piece of leather. If you put me in Gryffindor I swear yo-,"

"SLYTHERIN HOUSE!"

Scorpius smirked. "Thank-you."

He got off the seat as the sorting hat was muttering something about _'ungrateful children'_ and _'all Malfoy's being the same.'_ The blond merely scoffed, walked over to the Slytherin table, and sat opposite to Albus. Not that he noticed, his eyes were already back on the proceedings, waiting rather impatiently.

Albus, on the other hand, only returned his attention when he heard his cousin's name being called. Rose Weasley bound up to the seat with all her red- headed, freckle-faced excitement. Belaying none of the previous nerves of her bespectacled cousin.

"RAVENCLAW!"

Grinning brightly, she ran off to join her new house on the far side of the hall. Albus pushed his glasses up his nose and went back to watching the table rather begrudgingly. From the little that he had bothered to watch he new that Alice Longbottom was in Hufflepuff, Lorcan and Lysander Scamander were in Ravenclaw and Gryffindor respectively and Doddson Wood was in Gryffindor. Now even his own cousin had abandoned him, never-mind it wasn't her fault. Lucky him got stuck with a bone-crushing mammoth, Scorpius Malfoy and Nastia Goyle – he had to look up when he heard a name like that, and instantly regretted it. It was only when he saw the skirt that he even realized she was girl.

He looked over longingly across the hall to where his ridiculously large family was scattered. Fred, James and Molly were sitting across the Gryffindor table with their respective years. Roxanne and Louis were third and second year Hufflepuff, and Rose had Dominique in Ravenclaw. Both fifth years, Fred and Dominique were the oldest in the group since Teddy and Victoire had graduated that year. He was the only lone Slytherin. This was all James' fault. The stupid git jinxed him.

Oh jeez, what would his parents say. His dad would probably go into a whole speech about Potter luck, or their lack there-of, and his mom would probably shake her head. His sister would probably laugh and give him hell about it – he really needed new relatives.

Uncle Ron will definitely disown him from the family, and his fellow Slytherins were going to eat him alive. Whosever idea this was of a joke needed their head examined and the sorting hat needed to be burned. He'd see to it personally. Now he really needed food, even his tummy was getting disgruntled.

"About bloody time."

Albus looked up at the sound of the voice, hoping against hope that the statement was related to the sudden appearance of food, and almost cried. There was nothing on the table but wood. He felt the sudden urge to hex something when he realized it was only the Malfoy muttering distractedly. He looked to where the blonde was focusing to see that there was one more person left to be sorted. A dark olive skinned boy with short black hair and a disinterested look on his face. Now, if the boy could walk with a little more purpose, there would be food on the table.  
"Lucas Zabini!"

The boy sauntered up the steps lazily before sitting down. The hat had barely made it to the boy's head before it announced:

"SLYTHERIN!"

Showing no sign of excitement or disappointment, the boy got off the stool and made his way to his new house, seating himself next to Scorpius upon his arrival.

The blonde smirked at him. " I was almost worried the stupid thing would put you in Ravenclaw."

The darker boy gave him a bland look, " even that hat is smart enough to not leave you unsupervised. You're an idiot."

The blond was about to retort, but then McGonagall summoned all the students attention, effectively cutting him off.

" Now I know you're all excited to be meeting your friends for the first time in quite some time, but first a few announcements. Firstly, the Forbidden Forest is expressly forbidden, no students are allowed to be out after curfew and prefects are encouraged to punish those who are," she said this as a threat. Obviously the prefects weren't doing their job.

"Now first years will receive their schedules with the rest of their things in their rooms, it is advised to not be late to your classes," how she managed to look every first year in the eye simultaneously was unnerving. "Also the third floor of the castle is currently out of bounds."

" Finally, I would like to introduce the new Transfiguration teacher, Professor Norris Hobbaum."

As she said this, a tall man with the most daunting presence stood at the table. His sharp eyes swept across the room, only slightly obstructed by his shaggy dark hair. When he was satisfied that he had been acknowledged, he sat back down. The students had been squirming under his gaze.

"Now," continued McGonagall, seeming somewhat happy with the children's discomfort, "Let us eat!"

Suddenly, all four tables were covered in food dishes varying from every part of the world, and the students dug in greedily.

The first years settled in hesitantly, while sporting conversation with their counterparts, while at the Slytherin table, two boys ate unaware of each other and what was to come.

Up at the centre of the teacher's table, Minerva McGonagall got a splitting headache. For unknown to her, a fate had been sealed.

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Albus really wasn't up to this. At dinner in the hall it was one thing, everybody ignored him, and while the prefects were leading them to the Slytherin common room, he had been poked, prodded, tripped, hit and teased, and he hadn't said a word. Now that seemed to have been the wrong approach because even his roommates thought they could take advantage of him. In the room were four beds, and each bed was occupied, although that shouldn't have been because there were only three boys in the room apart from himself.

Malfoy was lying down on one bed starring disinterestedly at the ceiling, the other guy- Lucas, was unpacking his trunk and then there was Mammoth. Now Abus didn't normally take to judging, but obviously this boy was as big as he was lame in the brain. For there was absolutely no reason he should be pigging out on a bag of crisps and messing up one bed, while his trunk and all his clothes were spread out on the other bed making an even bigger mess.

_Breathe_, he told himself_, deep breaths_. He had always been thankful his sister had forced him to learn yoga. His sister's passing muggle fad had always stopped him from doing something especially stupid. He was told he had his father's temper after all.

Now, he was going to approach this with a clear head. He had learnt over the years that when dealing with impending stupidity, to give said persons the benefit of the doubt. This was a theory proven true when dealing with his older brother.

"Mate," he said, " you gotta pick a bed. You can't have both." There, that was a safe way to start. Short words incase he really was an idiot and straight to the point so he couldn't be insulted. This should be simple.

Or not, as he spoke the giant of a boy looked at him and honestly, he looked as stupid as he appeared. Then he sneered and Albus got a peek at some of the most yellow teeth he had ever seen.

"What if I don't want to," the boy spat. He had a raspy kind of voice that sounded wrong on him. Regardless, Albus continued with reason.

"Well you don't really have a choice," he started steadily, "I need a bed."

At this the boy grinned a hideous grin and belted out a raspy laugh that literally crawled his skin. Now Albus was quite aware that the boy was mocking him, it was made more apparent when Lucas threw a disparaging look at the boy, before giving him an assessing gaze. Malfoy was still gazing at the ceiling, and looked as if he had seen something rather unpleasant on it, but Albus kept his cool. His trunk was by the bed with the trunk on it, all the boy had to do was Take. It. Off.

Barely holding back an impatient sigh Albus ploughed on, " Look, just move your trunk will you." He was on his last nerve.

The stupid giant finally seemed to recover himself at Albus' less than impressed tone, sneering one again. It was not a good look for him.

"No." Then as if to make a point he dumped the rest of his crisps onto Albus' pillow."Oops!"

There was a moment of silence as the stupid oaf of a boy looked pleased with himself and then Albus narrowed his eyes. Pulling out his wand, he pointed it at the boy. This got everyone's attention, even Malfoy's. Mammoth looked slightly worried, but he quickly recovered with a taunting smile, "what you planning to do Potter," he spat.

He regarded the boy with disdain, he never really had patience with the mentally impaired, that was Rose. Thinking back to a spell his uncle George had taught him for whenever James was being more of a prat than usual he directed his wand to the trunk on his bed. They all watched as he muttered an incantation under his breath. Then all at once the boy's trunk flew off the bed and knocked into him throwing him off into the bed into the nearby wall. The clothes followed just as savagely and soon screaming could be heard where the pitiful boy was being mauled by his own wardrobe.

"Oops."

Albus returned his wand to his robes, walked to his bed, switched pillows and started to unpack, taking extra effort not to look at the faces of the other occupants of the room. One of whom was chuckling uncontrollably, the other scoffed before addressing him.

"That was impressive Potter," Lucas said, raising an eyebrow as strangled wail was heard from the heap on the floor. Albus managed a tentative smile.

"Impressive, please," gasped Malfoy, he was full-out laughing now, "_that _was Bloody Brilliant! Didn't think you had it in you Potter." The wails had subsided to tentative gasps.

"The stupid mammoth had it coming." He murmured. He was still slightly peeved he had to resort to such methods. That was one of the tricks he wanted to save. Ah well.

Unintelligible gurgles filtered through the room.

"I don't think Smithers will be too impressed later though," Lucas commented lightly. He had returned to his packing. So Smithers was his name, it suited him. He was definitely on of those brawn over brain types. Of course, that wouldn't bode too well for him in the long run, he was going to have to brush up on his Bat-Boogey Hex. He'd ask Rose in the morning, she already mastered it. Hopefully she had a better time settling in than himself.

"Serves the daft twit right if you ask me," commented Scorpius. He had now taken to rummaging through his trunk looking for something or the other. Soon enough the boys had put away their things, Albus had finished his unpacking, and settled into bed observing the room. The heaving sounds at this point were all but ignored.

The room was spacious enough to hold the four boys comfortably, with light gray walls and startling emerald curtains by the windows each held by a silver band. There were two wooden desks on either side of the door, accompanied by a small chair and a pot of ink.

A bed was nestled in each corner of the room draped with emerald green bed curtains on all four sides, and found next to each bed was a small chest of drawers. Albus found he actually liked the quarter seeing as it wasn't as bad as he had feared. He should have known better than to listen to James and Fred's warnings about slime and snakes and unspeakable things. The only real issue was the people and except the one, his roommates were alright he decided.

At some point lights were turned off, and after casting a rather simple ward around his bed just in case, Albus and the other two boys fell quiet.

Uneven wheezes lulling them to sleep.

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**A/N: lol... poor Smithers, i love Albus as a Slytherin. So how was it people... Hit or Miss? Spare me a Review please.**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Well I have finally updated, sorry it took so long I was trying to figure out how this was going to go... and honestly I still don't know but i made sure to not take more than a week to do it so here it is. It's way pass time i should be up so leave a review, cause i spent a good day writing this.**

**And I forgot to but this last time so...**

**Disclaimer: I do not, never had, nor shall I ever own Harry Potter. It's a pity, I know lol.**

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The Dark Side

_One should always pay attention to the ways things happen. This is because fate works in such a manner that things seem to play out naturally, whereas, if one were to look on as a spectator, things would appear a craftily constructed coincidence. Now, the following events take place over a course of 24 hours, in which allies are formed, enemies are made and something not-so-new has been reborn, remade and reloaded on a whole new level. Pay close attention._

_Thursday_

9:32 a.m

There had been a resounding ringing noise in Scorpius' ears for the past ten minutes. Professor Baster had been droning on and on about the behavior expected of students and a bunch of other things that he could care less about. This was evident by the glazed look coming over his eyes, he had tuned out when he realized the professor had no intention of stopping anytime soon.

"Mr. Malfoy, pay attention," Professor Baster snapped, " what in Merlin's name were you thinking?"

Truthfully, Scorpius hadn't been thinking at all, he just did it. All he recalled was a pocked-faced git and two over-sized buffoons vainly attempting to mock him, not that he expected much what with them being Gryffindors. The teacher really should be commending him on being the bigger man – boy… whatever. Point was, that if Professor Baster was in his position he would have done the same thing. Those of the male gender normally didn't take kindly to derogative remarks about their mother after all.

This is of course completely over-looking the fact that he had basically set the boys on fire, never mind it was an accident. The professor was seriously overreacting.

"… as for you , I had expected better." Professor Baster scolded.

Lucas barely refrained from rolling his eyes at this remark as he heard Scorpius try and fail to disguise a snort. What the hell should he care about what some teacher expected of him, as far as he was concerned this whole matter shouldn't even involve him. He was simply guilty by association. He wasn't the one that botched a spell ad nearly killed somebody, nope, he was the unfortunate witness that saved the poor idiot's life, but obviously acts of heroism were overlooked if the method wasn't to some sodding professors choosing. Let's all over-look the fact that the boy got away with minor burns, because he was currently covered in ink. Lucas' ink to be precise, and it was his last bottle to.

His dad always said no good deed went unpunished.

~0o0~

12:01 p.m.

Albus had come to the conclusion that Slytherin was a very dignified house, at least in their own right. While some were considered royalty because of their parents, and others were simply accepted because if they were here there must be something serpentine about them, he, it seemed had to prove himself. This being the only possible explanation seeing as people still weren't used to him here after nearly halfway through the term. The standard question when met with his presence was still:

"What the hell is Potter doing here?"

He really wished he didn't look so much like his dad.

Not that it was all bad of course. He still had his cousin Rose who seemed to be sympathetic to his predicament, unlike the rest of his family. Fred had given him a pat on the back and a humorous good luck clearly finding the whole thing funny. While the others just tried to be encouraging which was annoying because it wasn't in any way helpful. Finally there was James who had cottoned on to the fact that this all his fault and was having trouble controlling his protective big-brother instinct. Thank Merlin Louis was keeping him under wrap.

Although as far as Slytherin went, there was one, or rather two, exceptions to the general consensus. They were Poppy Lockhart and Nastia Goyle. The former seemed to have an obsession with him and while it was flattering at first it was now really annoying. Not only did she follow him everywhere, but also she felt the need to constantly defend him, which made him come off as a pansy as well as everything else. Not to mention her ever present companion, Goyle, gave him the creeps.

The only person who didn't mock him was Cranely Smithers. The boy didn't seem keen on a repeat performance of their initial meeting and was trying to keep in Albus' good books for his own personal safety.

Thus bringing Albus to his current conclusion: he may not have chosen his house but he was going to be in it for the next seven years so people better get used to it.

It was this conclusion he had stated to the third year that had taken it upon himself to torment Albus and knock all of his books to the ground. Everyone in the dungeon had gone silent watching the drama unfold with bated breath. As a first year it's pretty obvious who everybody expected to come out on top, but when you grow up with a family that as talented as his own and your uncle is a natural born prankster, you don't survive without learning a few tricks.

"What are you going to do without the rest of your family, huh Potter." The older boy sneered, " 'cause I'm a show you where you belong."

Now Albus was small for his age, but he was also smart and quite gifted. He pointed his wand at the boy- this sort of thing was becoming a regular occurrence- who laughed at him.

Albus responded with an innocent smile of his own, _"_I have a name you idiot_." _Then,_ "Petrificus Totalus."_

It was safe to say that nobody expected that with the stunned silence that greeted him, but that didn't last long. Soon everyone in the narrow hallway was clapping him on the back, a majority of the Slytherins were giving him approving glances, looking down in disgust at the frozen boy on the floor.

Now all Albus had to do was step over the immobilized boy and through the applauding crowd and all would be right in the world, but since we all know that the fates are out to get him that was but merely a dream.

Professor Slughorn stopped him just before he reached the end of the corridor. Needless to say Slughorn wasn't as impressed by his brave endeavor, but alas, he seemed to have finally claimed his right to be in Slytherin and now he had some street cred to go with it.

~0o0

6:47 p.m.

Detentions are a teacher's excuse to exact their sadistic tendencies on the students who torment them all day long, no questions asked. Therefore, contrary to popular belief, the punishment wasn't made to fit the crime but the said professor's temperamental whims.

A fair example would be the Slytherin Head of House, Professor Parkinson, who was all but fed up, and secretly proud, that three members of her house and first years non-the-less had managed to cause so much trouble in the space of a few hours. The cause of her wrath was induced by the chewing out she got from McGonagall, as if she could have prevented what the little spawns had done.

Suffice it to say, the wrath of their Professor was not lost on the poor first years that were sentenced to clean the boys bathroom on the third floor.

"It moved," Scorpius all but shrieked, " Dammit, it moved!"

"Stop squealing you pansy," Lucas snapped, not at all pleased with the situation. He wouldn't even be here if it wasn't for Sco- What. The HELL. Was. That!

"Ha! Told you it moved," the blonde sneered when he saw Lucas suddenly stop moving. He had long since opted to stay safely away from the moving substance and was balancing precariously on a broom in a vain effort to not come in contact with anything in the immediate area, including the floor. He spotted Albus fighting a loosing battle with the territorial substance that had claimed the stall in the far corner, but he had to commend the boy for not giving up.

"Stupid bloody- if that git hadn't- dammit- Quit resisting me you infernal – Gaaaahhh!"

Albus quickly released the broom he had been fighting so hard to hold onto when the unknown substance attempted to swallow him whole. Taking a few steps back as the Thing made a grab for him he backed into the sinks looking for a quick escape and found the other two occupants looking at him rather strangely. It was a mixture between horrified amusement and smelling something intensely unpleasant, the latter of which was entirely possible but they all chose to ignore for fear of finding out what could make such a stench. All the boys knew was that it was coming from the stall in the middle, whose door was engulfed in a greenish black fuzzy substance, and a disturbing gurgling sound emitting from the other side. They weren't curious to find out what it was.

Silently agreeing on the strength in numbers, the three Slytherins found themselves bunched in the corner closest to the door, looking furtively at the stall that just attacked Albus as a goopy purple substance inched its way out.

"So," Albus ventured, attempting to keep his voice above a squeak, "what are you guys in for?"

Scorpius scoffed. "Accidentally set someone on fire."

Lucas rolled his eyes. "Saved someone from burning to death."

"Oh," he replied, "I hit someone with a body-bind curse." His tone was as light as the others.

Scorpius raised an appraising eyebrow at him, "impressive Potter, you don't seize to amaze do you?"

"You know," Albus tried and failed to keep the scathing tone out of his voice, "I happen to have a name if you were so inclined Malfoy."

Ever since he got to this school nobody seemed to realize he was actually christened with a first name and it was really starting to get on his nerves. He may come from a hell-of-a big family, but that didn't mean he wanted a life of obscurity. He had bigger ambitions than just being Harry Potter's son.

Scorpius looked slightly taken aback at this statement but Lucas simply gazed at him silently, before smiling at him in approval. "I like him."

Albus' eyes widened in surprise and Scorpius spluttered unintelligently, "What!"

"Quit your whining Scorpius we have bigger problems than your ego," Lucas was indicating to the mobile Thing that seemed to be growing intelligence and was staring them down in a most disturbing manner.

"We could just, you know, leave," Albus suggested, squealching noises were coming from the unmentionable stall in the middle causing all three boys to suppress a shudder. Scorpius struck out the idea.

"Parkinson's got it out for me," he said, " something about the past sins of my father and how she didn't have a chance in hell with him. She won't let us off that easily."

"I'm pretty sure this is an abuse of power or something," Lucas muttered darkly. The only thing that belied the boy's cool demeanor was the paling of his knuckles around the disinfectant bottle he was clutching, besides that you could interpret him as being completely bored of the situation.

"Well why don't you stop your whining Zabini," Scorpius snapped. The whole situation was beginning to fray on his nerves and he seriously needed some sleep. Focusing on the fact that an unknown substance was on its way to devour them if whatever was now rattling behind the rabid stall didn't get to them first, Scorpius contemplated ways for them to get out relatively unscathed, as well as a fulfilling their purpose for being there in the first place.

Considering the sinks that were covered in dirt, grime and other things he didn't want to think about, he identified the tools they were given to complete the task sans magic. The urinals were in no better condition except that some sort of green slimy thing seemed to be growing out of it. As for the floor Scorpius still refused to touch, he was sure it had been white tiles at one point but now it was covered in a yellow fungus-y substance that tiny creatures seemed to be nesting. He had actually mistaken it for a carpet when he first entered, until he realized it wouldn't let go of his foot.

Putting his brilliantly devious mind to work he addressed his comrades, " Alright you sorry lot, this is what were going to do."

Refusing to think about what the toxic life form on the floor was going to do to his priceless designer shoes, Scorpius stepped off the broom and faced his fellow men in arms, who were slightly shocked that he would risk backing the Thing heading towards them. Once all three of them were adequately armed with bleach, disinfectant and other cleaning chemicals they took up their brooms, in Albus' case a mop, and readied themselves. Scorpius ran an inventory by Albus.

"Bucket?"

"Check."

"Water?"

"Check."

"Artillery?"

"Wha- Oh…. Check." They held a firmer grip on their broom/mop sticks.

"Let's do this."

What followed was a significant flair for the dramatic on Malfoy's part, calculated murderous intent by Zabini and a most un-Slytherin display of bravery by Potter. This is how it goes.

Kicking the bucket to the ground, water with a hazardous mix of cleaning chemicals was strewn across the bathroom floor, an unsettling sizzling sound rising from the ground. All at once the fungus-like thing occupying the floor went on the offence trying to trap them in place but the adrenaline pumping through them was a forced to be reckoned with.

Completely in sync Scorpius and Lucas ran across the floor scrubbing furiously as the creatures residing below nipped at their ankles. Albus brought up the rear; the bleach in one hand and the mop in the other, killing the attack while it was still in a weakened state. In any other circumstance, or had it been anyone else for that matter there may have been a theatrical battle-cry as the three boys ran forth to confront the unspeakable, but they weren't a bunch of mousy Gyffindors and Hufflepuffs, no, they were Slytherin and they approached this with a cold, cunning, calculated front.

"It's in my hair!" Cried the blonde, paralyzed by the mere thought.

"You stop and you die Malfoy." Replied a venomous voice; Lucas was not going to be bested by intelligent pieces of furry mucus.

"We're all going to die if you twats don't quit bickering and focus," Albus all but screamed as he was once again wrestling his mop from the persistent buggers of the yellow contingent.

The boys had freed more than half the floor from occupation but the invasion of cleaning supplies was being strongly resisted by those of the unmentionable persuasion. Strengthening the front line, or more like Scorpius and Lucas steadying their already wavering resolve, the boys pressed on to the other side of the room where they faced the stall that nearly consumed Albus, the remains of the broom sticking out from the undulating purple goo, taunting them.

Without pause the boys rained down on it with every liquid filled bottle at their disposal. You could almost hear the shriek of defeat as the Thing shriveled up and died a hopefully most painful death. A manic cackle was heard from the bespectacled boy as they all watched with a fiendish glee that only boys could pull off, but it was abruptly cut off as a vigorous rattle shook the stall in the middle. The gurgling taking on a most menacing presence as it began to sound like it was attempting to regurgitate.

Slowly, a formation was made around the stall. Albus was in the middle with a bottle of bleach in one hand, and disinfectant in the other. Scorpius was stationed just behind him with the broom and mop and Lucas was poised at the door handle.

"One, two, three…" The door was flung open.

"GOOD GOD!... What is that!"

"The smell," _choke_, "Kill it."

"What the-"

"Diiiiieee!..."

"No, NO, not the hair, anything but that… Damn you, not the shoes!"

"…"

"Get it- wait, no – not there that's- HELP! It's got me!"

"AAAAaaaaarrrrgghhhh!"

* _Gurggle * * belch *_

Silence

"… i-is-is it dead?"

"I think so," _poke, _"It's not moving…"

"You think we should…"

"Yeah, just in case it…" Shudder.

"So, are you gonna…"

"What! Why do I have to do it?"

"Because you lead the bloody attack, Oh Wise Leader." Lucas provided.

"Don't get testy Mary Lou." Scorpius snapped back. Whatever it was that was in his hair better not damage it, he was too young to look like his dad.

Lucas narrowed his at him, his grip on the contaminated broom tightening.

"Fine, I'll do it, jeez." The blonde did not need more of that stuff on him, '_and you call me a drama queen."_

"You two are like a married couple, just hurry up so we get out of here." Albus snapped, he had nearly been taken by that thing twice and shuddered at the memory. Whatever it was, it was too grotesque for words.

"Patience Potter." Scorpius chided.

"Albus."

"Whatever." The blonde was still feeling somewhat insulted by the last correction.

"Ignore him, it his time of month." Said Zabini, looking at Scorpius with the look of someone who dealt with this sort of behavior far too often.

"Figures."

"HEY!"

"Must you yell blondy?" The dark haired boy sneered; the look was heightened by the I-was-just-molested-by-a-pedophilic-bacteria look he was sporting.

"Scorpius."

"Whatever."

Lucas smirked, "I think we should keep him."

Both boys stopped their glaring contest and stared at the darker one incredulously.

"What!"

"I am not a dog!"

Scorpius eyed Albus with distaste, "you could have fooled me."

Albus eyed the thing nesting on Scorpius' hair, "like you should talk."

"Four-eyed pansy"

"Inbred git"

"Impoverished prat "

"Cross-dressing albino"

"Half-assed poofter"

"Brain-addled fruit loop"

Scorpius smirked, "We might make a Slytherin of you yet."

"By all means," Albus responded dryly.

"If you ladies are finished…." Lucas said from the door, holding the supplies that could be salvaged from the area. The bathroom was now surprisingly clean enough to be used without fear of loosing life or limb. The floor and stalls more resembled their original colour, and the sink and urinals was a fortunate casualty of the cleaning frenzy. It was now clean enough to be mistaken for one of the girl's bathrooms, if not for the fact that everything had a brown tint.

The boys regarded their work with triumph before walking out of the bathroom, an unbreakable bond forged among them through the mutual triumph of a most traumatizing ordeal.

~0o0

_Friday_

7:45 a.m.

This was bound to happen sooner or later. If there was one word you could use to describe James Potter, it was stubborn. He was currently standing defiantly at the Slytherin table having a staring contest with his younger brother. If one were to watch them long enough it would almost be like seeing double, except that one had glasses.

The silent brotherly spat was brought about by the fact that Louis could no longer curb James' protective big-brother streak. Albus was now starting to understand the phrase 'self-righteous Gryffindor twats', his brother was being unnecessarily difficult about wanting to keep him company since his house didn't want to.

Albus sighed deeply, "go back to your table James."

His brother shook his head, "I'm not leaving you like this," eyes narrowed at the row of Slytherins, "their being stupid."

_So are you,_ Albus was tempted to say but he held his tongue. Leave it to James to not realize when he was doing more bad than good, he wasn't going to live this down and just when people were finally not looking surprised to see him in the dungeons anymore.

Damn

"Oi, Potter move it," an arrogant voice sneered, "you're blocking my seat."

Both boys looked up to see Scorpius and Lucas standing by them sending James looks of distaste before shoving him aside and sitting down.

"Mind your own business Malfoy," James spat back, but Scorpius had already moved on to ignoring him.

"As you can see Potter we're trying to eat, so would you remove yourself instead of making us suffer your presence." Lucas was staring down the older boy with open contempt.

"True," Scorpius added, "you have more than enough relatives, go bother one of them." He hadn't looked up from buttering his toast as he spoke.

Quickly recovering from his shock when he realized that James was about to attack them Albus quickly put in, "I'm fine see? Go back to your table James."

His brother looked like he wanted to put up a fight, but for once conceded to Albus' request and went back to the lion's table. The young Potter then looked at the two sitting across from him uncertainly.

"He's bloody annoying isn't he mate," Scorpius said conversationally.

"He's my brother," Albus warned. The only person that was allowed to belittle his brother was family, no matter how deserving it was.

"It's a pity that," Scorpius said completely ignoring him. "Anyway, I have a proposition for you."

Albus raised an eyebrow for the blond to continue, while eyeing Lucas in question to what this was about. The boys shared a dorm but the three of them hadn't actually become close, only acknowledged each other in passing. Then again, it had to be said that something had changed over the course of last night.

"Well it seems that you and I share a predicament," Scorpius started when he had Albus' attention, " we're both taking flack for our fathers and I don't know about you but it's getting bloody annoying."

Albus nodded in agreement.

"So I was wondering how you felt about making us making a bit of a name for ourselves, hm?"

There was definite excitement brewing in that look that Scorpius was giving and for some reason Albus was starting to feel just as eager.

"What do you have in mind?" Curiosity was peaking.

Scorpius leaned forward, a serpentine smile formed on his lips.

"Well personally, I've always found notoriety to be the best kind of recognition."

Both boys were looking at Albus expectantly now, and as the bespectacled boy thought it over, he had to agree that it definitely sounded appealing.

"It's not something they would expect is it?"

All three of them were grinning now and as Scorpius held out his hand Albus shook it. Many of the other members at the table had been watching the exchange expectantly; Malfoys and Potters didn't mix, let alone shake hands. The moment was monumental.

"Welcome to the dark side Potter."

"Albus" He corrected.

"Albus"

~0o0

9:31 a.m.

The class was in hysterics as the three Gryffindors pranced around 'oinking' through their snouts with pigtails sticking out of their backsides in complete panic. The Professor was busy trying to settle the class while figuring out who the culprit was; it didn't really cross his mind that there was more than one.

9:32 a.m.

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**A/N: The second installment of the Marauders, what do you think? This chapter just kind of showed how the friendship blooms because i know people always question it with this kind of mix so i hope it made sense. Chances are you won't see the next chapter till next week so stick with me please, and you know the drill... REVIEW! I need to know what you think.**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: I have finally updated. I am so sorry it took so long but i am a pro at finding distractions and this whole commitment thing is new to so forgive me. I'm new to this and I'm trying my hardest. I spent a good week writing this and i still don't like it much but i figured i had to give you something. I promise to make the next chapter better.**

**Disclaimer: Do i look like a literary genius obsessed with morbid endings and death, no i don't, i do comedy and romance.**

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Chapter 3: This is How it Goes Down

On a day such as this, it is highly unusual to find boys inside. Let alone in the library. It wasn't that the day was particularly bright or sunny, but it was nice and seeing as how it was a weekend the odds of adolescence giving it up to study was highly unusual.

They weren't in there solely for the books though, that was a simply rouse to satisfy Madame Pince while they plotted.

"You guys are at it again, aren't you?" This statement was made by a curly haired redhead covered by a barrage of freckles throughout her face. Her name was Rose Weasley.

Three pairs of eyes shot up from the large, dusty, old book they were pretending to be engrossed in and looked at her with the air of innocence that only eleven year old boys could pull off. Rose may have been convinced, if one of them hadn't been her cousin.

"What're you talking about Rosie?" Albus said with that small practiced smile that made one think of a child that can do no wrong. It had become a deadly weapon once Al had finally perfected it, because now everyone was convinced he could do no wrong, which was not the case. Again, Rose may have been convinced if he hadn't been her cousin.

"Don't try that with me Albus, I know you. You don't read."

Scorpius snorted, Lucas smirked and Albus looked affronted, "I do to!"

Rose rolled her eyes. Albus may look like the quiet, bookish type but that couldn't be further from the truth. He barely ever got passed the first sentence in a book without falling to sleep or going off into space. His argument was always that books weren't stimulating enough so she decided to drop it because a circular discussion never got you anywhere, especially with Albus.

"Don't you guys think you've caused enough trouble for the week, better yet the term?"  
She was referring to the mayhem that plagued the school ever since the boys became friends. They were always getting up to something and even though everyone knew it was them, they rarely ever got caught. It was driving the teachers mad.

"You know Rose," Albus said, "just, because I'm in a library doesn't mean that I'm being a menace to society. It usually indicates a level of scholarly dedication."

"Yes, of course," she said dryly, "a dedication to disruption. You know aunty Ginny isn't going to be happy with you when you get back."

"Merlin, Weasley," Scorpius' annoyed voice cut in, "you must lighten up, or better yet, leave. We aren't looking for a bloody voice of reason. Just pretend you have a life would you?"

"Oh shut-up Malfoy," snapped Rose, "you guys are the ones in need of a life if all you do is prank other people."

"How we choose to display our creativity isn't any of you business now, is it?" Scorpius sneered.

Rose scoffed incredulously. "Creativity, is that what they're calling a lack of maturity?"

"Maturity?" Scorpius exclaimed. "We're eleven!"

Rose about to reply before Albus quickly intervened. Whenever the blonde and redhead started there was no stopping them.

"Look Rose," Albus said in a strained attempt to get her attention away from Scorpius, " it doesn't really matter. Whenever Fred and James pull a stunt back home it's not that big a deal and if they can do it to family then the rest of school can be considered fair game."

Rose just blinked at his line of reasoning. He couldn't actually believe that could he?

"The man has a point Weasley." Scorpius was giving her that infuriating smirk of his, the one he gave her whenever he thought he outsmarted her. Well then, that answered her question.

"That, is a load of rubbish, and you know it."

The two just stared at her with a look that clearly said, _well yeah, but we're going with it so who cares._

She gave up, and in an act of desperation she turned to Lucas. The Italian had been ignoring them in favour of a piece of parchment, probably holding whatever it was they were plotting.

"Why on earth do you go along with these two," she asked, "you, actually seem sensible." She chose to ignore the offended looks on the other two. Rose realized a while ago that when dealing with the quietest member of the triad flattery got you no-where. It was all in the insults.

Lucas looked up and gave her one of his half-interested looks before smirking, "it's fun."

She gaped at him.

"You three are hopeless."

Albus gave her his innocent little smile and she was starting to understand why the sorting hat put him in the snake pit. He was a tricky little bugger.

"Look Rose, it's not that big of a deal you know. But if it makes you feel any better it's our last prank for the term."

"But it's the end of term," she argued, "we leave the day after tomorrow!"

"Well that's the point Weaslette," Scorpius said, getting bored with conversation, "we can't very well let people leave for Christmas without a farewell present. Think of the masses."

"Not that for a second you actually care." She shot back.

He smirked, "True."

She huffed but conceded that she was fighting a loosing battle. You couldn't argue with people who had no sense of actual logic. "Fine, I hope you all get coal in your stocking."

When all she got was two confused looks and a roll of the eyes, she grabbed her books and left the library.

"Finally," Scorpius was already pulling the piece of parchment out of Lucas' hand, "Merlin, I thought she'd never leave. How in Salazar's name can you stand being related to those people!"

Albus shrugged his shoulders. "Practice."

0o0

The Hogwarts Express had barely to came to a standstill at the station when the passenger doors were forcibly thrown open and students flew out of the still moving train like old Voldy himself was after them. Many parents watched in horror as they saw their children trampling over one another to get out the train, some going so far as to jump out windows in their hurry to evacuate.

It was only after parents initial shock ended that they noticed that something was wrong with their children besides the fact that they were acting like a bunch of crazed Hippogriffs. This was because many of the now evacuated students were sporting neon-coloured patterns in their hair and matching skin tones.

The students, looking at themselves in horror and mild fascination and screams were heard throughout the station before becoming overrun with laughter. The panic quickly started up again when they realized they couldn't undo the spell.

The culprits of course were no secret. For only three persons could be responsible for setting dungbombs off throughout the train and then charming everyone's hair and skin to change colour without anyone noticing.

0o0

Ginny Potter had tried, and when you consider everything she had going against her you really had to give her credit for even doing that much because trying, it seemed, was an exercise in futility.

When she had her first son she thought that would be it. When he was living up to his namesake by age four and had nearly burnt down the kitchen because he had wanted something to eat but mommy couldn't come right now so being the impertinent little brat he is decided to do it himself and she had barely caught him before the bottle of oil had fallen onto the burner because he was taken up with the half crushed cookie on the floor.

After that, she really thought that the fates couldn't be so sick and twisted as give her another one.

But oh no. No, no, no, no, no, it seemed they also had a sense of humor because they gave her two. The difference was that the second son was so deceptively quiet that only through the subtle manipulation innocent looks, quivering pouts and craftily worded guilt trips did the truth appear.

Oh yes, James Potter was destructive, but Albus Potter, he was dangerous.

Frankly, she blamed her husband. It had, after all, come from his side of the family.

Harry himself wasn't fairing any better. One would think that after being obsessed over by a crazed megalomaniac, being orphaned practically at birth, living in a cupboard and then having the most traumatizing (and admittedly freaking cool, though he only shared this sentiment with Ron. Never Hermione) seven years of his life, that someone would cut him a break.

Instead, he got this.

"Albus, why are Rose and your brother covered in polka dots?"

The boy in question looked up innocently at his parents looking for the world a sweet little eleven year old who had nothing on his mind but seeing them again. Oh yes, he was that good.

"I don't know," he considered thoughtfully, "I always thought James would look better in stripes personally."

"I guess," added Lily, "but only if they were horizontal. Vertical stripes would make him look even rounder in the middle." She tried to keep a straight face, but couldn't help letting a giggle escape.

"At least the colour brings out his eyes." Hugo added cheekily.

James was starting to look even more horrendous as he started to go red in his already neon yellow coloured face causing him to look a pukish orange colour, the polka dots making him look like a diseased thestral. Almost immediatey Lily, Al and Hugo were gasping in laughter as James strained through his father's cluthches to attack his siblings.

"This isn't funny you guys!" Rose yelled, "why can't I change back?"

Hermione was having trouble getting the two back to normal and Rose's Weasley temper was acting up. It was quite a sight with all the freckles showing up among the polka dots on her purple face. Albus took one look at her and dissolved into laughter all over again.

By now even all the adults were having a hard time fighting laughter, well, except Ron.

"That isn't funny Albus," Ron said in his most imposing manner, "change them back."

The red head was a supporter of good fun, but never if its offered by a Slytherin, family or not. Especially when it came to his baby girl, he just had to make sure he didn't look at her or anyone else in the station for that matter. It was a bloody good trick, not that he'd ever admit it.

Ginny rolled her eyes, "oh, relax Ron."

"But look at them!" he shouted.

"You have to admit," Hermione said, sounding quite impressed, "it's some pretty impressive spell work for a first year."

"Leave it to you Hermione to look at this from a bloody academic perspective," Ron exclaimed impatiently, "in case you missed it, they're the colour of the ruddy rainbow!"

"First off Ronald." The bush haired Gryffindor glared at her husband, "language. Second, ordinary first years usually aren't capable of charming a spell to last so long. I mean, you and Harry were terrible."

Both men made indignant noises, Harry's was a bit strained with trying to hold down his son though and Ron whined, "Hermioneeeee."

"Shut up Ron," Ginny snapped impatiently at her brother, "she has a point." At this point Harry decided that he probably should let James maul his brother and sister. Honestly, there was no appreciation for what he went through as a child. He had bigger issues than perfecting menial spells, at least he got the job done in the end.

Ginny of course, unaware of her husbands internal gripping, paid him no mind.

"How did you do that Al?"

The boy in question opened his mouth to answer, when his more than irate cousin jumped in for him.

"That's what you and Malfoy were doing in the library wasn't it!" The frazzled technicoloured girl was pointing an accusatory finger at the bespectacled boy looking ready to do James will for him.

"Hey, it was Lucas' idea," Albus defended, looking more than a little scared of his cousin.

"Malfoy!" Ron bellowed.

There was collective groan from all of the adults. Since they had gotten the letter from Albus talking about his new found friendship with Malfoy's kid, Ginny and Harry had made it a well kept secret from Ron, they did tell Hermione however. The fire haired Gryffindor just couldn't let some things go, and the ferret was still a particular sore spot for him.

Trying to hold off the coming tide a little longer seeing as Ron had yet to recover from shock, Harry tried to change the subject.

"What in Merlin's name were you doing in a library Al?" If there was one thing Harry new about his son it was that he got bored easily. In his son's own words _' books were not only weren't stimulating but they lacked imagination'_, Harry didn't try to follow his son's logic.

"Well -," Albus was about to answer when he was once again interrupted by his crazed multi-coloured cousin.

"Whenever they want to make more elaborate disasters than usual," Rose ranted, more than a little upset that more attention was being paid to the fact of why she looked like this instead of getting her back to normal, "Zabini drags them in there to do _'research'_." She made air quotations as she said the word.

Ron had just recovered from his first shock when Rose made this statement. "Zabini!"

Everyone ignored him.

This time Hermione jumped in for the save, "How long is the spell going to last Al?"

"Well-," he started before cutting himself off and looking pointedly at his cousin, seeing if she was going to interrupt again. She stuck out her tongue. " normally, it would only last about three hours if its not interfered with, but since we charmed it, we're probably looking at a week. Plus we made it so you couldn't cancel the spell." Albus was looking very pleased with himself and was sporting a triumphant grin.

Not everyone shared his feelings.

"A WEEK!" James and Rose roared, Albus timidly shrinked away. James finally managed to escape his father's (surreptitiously weakened) grasp and pounced on his brother and the two fell to the floor, a tumble of limbs. Lily and Hugo followed soon after laughing uncontrollably.

Poor Rose looked on the verge of tears.

Ron finally came to again and spluttered, "what the hell was Albus doing with a Malfoy and Zabini!"

"Oh do shut up Ronald," Hermione muttered wearily. Her husband had a way of being a bit dimwitted when he didn't like something.

"But when did this happen!" Ron demanded, refusing to be ignored, he hadn't realized it the first two times.

'_Get off me you big oaf!_

'_I. Am. Going to Kill. You!'_

"For quite a while now Ron," Ginny answered, "get over it."

'_stop being such a drama queen'_

'_I'm YELLOW!"_

"Their Slytherin Ginny!" he said as if it made a difference that he was pointing out the obvious, "You don't actually approve of this Harry?" Ron demanded.

Harry sighed, "It doesn't really matter Ron. If they're friends, they're friends, this kind of thing was bound to happen anyway." Nobody up there wanted to give him a break. One day, Harry swore, he was going to break and he'd get his revenge when the fates had no one to screw around and laugh at.

'_would you stop it you – nutter- your gonna break my glasses!'_

'_I'm gonna break more than that you turd!'_

"I can't believe this. It was bad enough he was dumped in Slytherin, but now your gonna let them corrupt him!" Harry raised a questioning eyebrow, everyone had more or less figured Albus would end up in the snake house. Ron had to concede to that point, Albus was more likely to teach those slimy gits a thing or two. Didn't mean he hadn't hoped for Albus' talent being used against Slytherins instead of for them.

"Ow! Mom, he broke my glasses!"

"your lucky that's all you got away with you git."

"Alright you two," said Ginny going into mom mode and separating the two. "That's enough. Your making a scene," it was true, a little crowed was starting to form around the clan. "James apologize to Al."

"Why?" James demanded, "he started it."

"Did not"

Did to"

"Did not"

"Did t-"

"Stop!" They stopped instantly. They knew better than to challenge their mother when she looked like that.

"Good," Ginny said threateningly, "now apologize."

The boys glared at each other spitefully before muttering half-felt sorry's.

Albus turned to his a cousin, "Sorry Rosie," he said with a saccharine smile. She rolled her eyes.

"I don't forgive you," she said with a small smile on her face.

"Alrighty then," Hermione clapped, collecting her dejected looking husband, "lets get home shall we."

0o0

"I take it when I specifically asked you not to have anything to do with the Potters or the Weasleys, you became conveniently deaf," Draco Malfoy was glaring balefully at his son.

"You know how it is dad," Scorpius smirked, "in one ear, out the other, all that jazz."

Draco's eyes narrowed dangerously at his son, and lacking self-preservation, Scorpius stared right back at him.

"Oh behave you two," Astoria Malfoy cut in, "honestly, you should be more concerned with what he did to his classmates Draco," then looking to her son, " I thought we told you to behave?"

"Mom," Scorpius stated, "you couldn't honestly expect me just to just do nothing. What did you expect, that I would spend all my time studying. I'm not Lucas."

Scorpius really loved his mom, he did, but sometimes she was a bit unrealistic with expectations.

"He's got a point Tori," Draco said to his wife, " I would be worried if he didn't try to destroy something while he was away. Plus you have to admit that was some pretty cool charm work there." He gave his son an impressed nod.

"The only real problem," Draco continued, "was his choice of friends." Scorpius groaned and Astoria raised a sardonic eyebrow at her husband.

"So he can use a bunch of children as his art project, as long as he doesn't socialize with the children of your childhood enemies?" Sometimes, she wondered what she ever saw in this man.

"There's more to it than that," Draco denied testily.

"I don't see what the big deal is dad," Scorpius couldn't help but add, "he's pretty cool you know. Has some wicked ideas, Albus actually came up with the whole plan.

Draco's eye twitched, "That's wonderful."

"Plus, I mean, it's all your fault anyway." The boy smiled innocently.

Draco returned to glaring at his son and Astoria rolled her eyes, ignoring the two to enjoy the colourful mirage of hysteric students.

"How exactly was it my fault," father and son were staring challengingly at one another.

"You said I shouldn't so…" Scorpius taunted. He loved to wind up his father.

Draco smirked. Two could play that game.

"Well, you know how you told me not to report to your grandmother about you….."

Scorpius visably paled, which was quite interesting seeing as how he was so pale already. Draco mentally congratulated himself.

"You didn't," the poor boys voice barely rose above a whisper.

"You said I shouldn't so….." There was a wicked smile on his face.

"We had a deal!" The miniature blonde yelled.

"Well, then you shouldn't have gone fraternizing with the enemy." His father sneered.

Astoria rolled her eyes, and moved so people wouldn't associate her with the two.

"The only enemy is your misguided youth you paranoid old man," Scorpius yelled incredulously.

That had it a nerve, what with his early balding Draco was a _bit_ touchy with anything regarding his age.

"The next time you decide to test my well –being by being some rebellious adolescent you'll think of the old man with the receding hair line that controls your fate you impertinent child," okay, maybe more than a _bit_ touchy.

Scorpius just glared at his dad and pouted hoping to gain his mother's sympathy. Astoria didn't even mind him.

"Do you two feel better," she asked slightly exasperated. She supposed she should be used to their strange bonding ritual but she never understood how they were able to connect by insulting each other. At first she had written it off as a boy thing, but then she realized. Her boys were special.

"I'm not bailing you out at next the garden party," Scorpius muttered darkly.

Draco laughed and patted his son's head, "Of course you are you runt, other wise I won't bail you out of the vacation she has planned just for the two of you." Scopius' eyes widened, "yep, somewhere in Whales," he added tauntingly.

It was a well-known fact that Narcissa Molfoy was a woman you took in small doses. It was still a mystery as to what possessed Lucius Malfoy to marry her.

And as much as Draco loved his parents, he could only stand being around them for so long. The parties were a regular thing that his parents, rather his mother, threw and it was Scorpius' job to find new and elaborate ways to bail them out. In exchange, Draco protected is son from his mother's overly grandmotherly affections.

"I'm gone for a good three months and this is how you greet me," looking at his dad with something akin to hurt in his eyes, "lovely lot you are. Really."

Draco just rolled his eyes and picked up Scorpius' trunk, " yeah, so I probably shouldn't have gotten you that new broom should I."

Both parents smiled at the starry look in their son's eyes before grabbing his hand and apparating home.

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**A/N: I hope you aren't too disappointed. This kind of went through a bit of a family dynamic cause all the parents are going to be a part of this fic as well. Don't dis me to hard please. The next chapter is happening in second year so stick with me and Review please!**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N:** **Hello?... Hello, is it me you're looking for? Yes people, it's me, I'm am back and no I did not spontaneously drop dead. I do apologise for the almost 2 month long wait, I would say it wouldn't happen again but i would be lying, because I'm very unpredictable and my muse likes to play never ending games of hide and seek. Sad, I know. I have actually had this in the making this entire time and i still think it needs more but then it would have thrown me off, so I didn't. And for those of you who actually read this and want to know, I was plot searching, you know like soul searching but for a plot instead... God I'm pathetic, and rambling, so I'll stop now. Anywho... for those of you still with me I am truly sorry for the delay because I'm a rather impatient person myself, so I would totally understand if your pissed. So here we are people... Second Year. YAY!**

**Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN DAMMIT! *sniff sniff* STOP RUBBING IT IN!**

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**Chapter 4:** Now it all Begins

SECOND YEAR

Lucas opened the door to the compartment on the train, took in the scene that greeted him, and blinked.

"Should I come back?"

What he had walked in on was Scorpius and Albus toe to toe to one another glaring heatedly. Therefore, as it was with purposeful intention, the words left his mouth into the previously empty compartment; causing both of his companions to jump, shoot forward and collided quite predictably into each other with an audible 'thump'.

"OW!"

Lucas rolled his eyes as the two rebounded off of each other, Albus falling into the seat behind him, whereas Scorpius missed his landing, crashed his hip into his seat instead before finally falling to the ground grasping his hip and forehead and writhing quite pathetically in his so called friend's eyes.

Taking a distasteful step over the blonde, Lucas sat down next to Albus, the said boy was now glaring at him reproachfully through his fingers as he clutched his reddening face.

Briefly considering both reactions and finding himself satisfied with his sadistic deed for the day, Lucas decided it was time to delve into more curious matters. Yes it was true, as ashamed as he was to admit- and he never would- very few things caught and kept his interest, and sadly, the two twats he chose to associate himself with never provided a dull moment. Therefore he was slightly curious as to what had caused the two boys to take the positions they were in before he came in, that being another thing. Lucas didn't do curious, or interested, or intrigued, or anything that wasn't interpreted as bored to tears, and therefore normally he wouldn't indulge himself in his rouge agog with the two, but sometimes it was safer in knowing, especially when the new school year hadn't even started yet, so he yielded.

"Do I even want to know what that was about?" There was, he decided, no need after all to be completely obvious about his wanting to know. Seeing as Scorpius was in no condition to respond after rendering himself more incompetent than he already was, he turned to Albus for answers, silently raising an eyebrow. From the glare he received though, it was obvious the bespectacled boy wasn't too keen on responding. His friends were such pansies.

Albus probably caught his line of thought though, as the bespectacled boy slowly released his face to respond to the inquiry.

"He," nodding his head in Scorpius' direction, the blonde had directed his efforts to internally cursing his Italian friend, "was saying that if we added butuber pus to the aching draft before its finished it would have a longer lasting effect and cause oozing. I'm trying to tell him that if we add the greased bat wings once its finished that it would have a blinding effect that would be even better."

Scorpius scoffed, "As entertaining as it would be to have those twats in Gryffindor bumping into things and falling down stairs I am not going to get expelled because some stupid Hufflepuff goes and impales himself." Him and Albus were back to the glaring competition.

What they were referring to was the start of term prank they were planning. They had all been studying substitution spells during the summer. Lucas had made an innocent suggestion about switching their goblets contents to wine sometime while he was at Scorpius' house and the idea was born. Corresponding by owl, the boys formed the elaborate plan of making an aching draft, and substituting it for whatever would be in the goblets at the time throughout the great hall to afflict both teachers and students. It was bloody well brilliant, if they were to be, of course, totally modest.

Albus rolled his eyes, " well once everyone realizes they can't see, which is going to happen in the great hall, the teachers would lead them all to Madame Venus." He said this as if it should be obvious. "We'll be worshipped!" And then as if to cement his point, he turned to the boy attempting to be invisible in the cabin, "Aren't I right?" he questioned.

Smithers visibly cringed as all eyes turned to him.

Albus looked at him as if he was a co-conspirator, though there was a glint in the bespectacled boys eye that clearly said he had no choice but to agree, Scorpius' grey eyes were glaring at him harshly and Lucas was giving him that blank stare that always gave him goosebumps.

The huge boy considered what he could say carefully, after all, it was a well-known fact that all the boys in the school were willing to do anything short of dying to get into the hands of Madame Venus, the beautiful school healer. After opening and closing his mouth mutely for a good few seconds, Smither's swallowed gathered his nerves together to give a neutral, "Everyone would end up in the hospital wing either way so they're both really good ideas?" he ended it as a hopeful question.

Albus narrowed his eyes slightly but let it go, Smithers let out a received breath. Scorpius rolled his eyes at the boy's spinelessness and Lucas just smirked at the huge boy's ability to smooth himself out of another argument between his friends. Truthfully, Lucas hadn't even noticed the boy was there until Albus called him out, there was just something about him that he couldn't quite stand. He had become Albus' yes-man a little after the three Slytherins became one and Lucas usually went out of his way to scare the tag-along. In his opinion the boy was just a rat feeding of their fame and answering to their beck and call so that he didn't have to worry about being jinxed in his sleep, which still occasionally happened.

"Back to what I was saying," Scorpius spoke up from his place on the ground, " If we add the effects of aching AND oozing we could do it on the teachers to, no harm no foul."

"Actually, seeing as how McGonagall still hasn't forgiven you two for the stunt you pulled last year Easter in her office, I'm pretty sure there will be a lot of harm done."  
Everyone cringed as they recalled _that_ prank, they had been young and oh so foolish. Big, fluffy, stripping, white rabbits, bearing rank smelling eggs was not the smartest thing to give to ones headmistress.

Both boys had prepared to defend that 'incident' – as they much preferred to refer to it -but Lucas cut them off, "Just add the Butuber Pus and charm the bat wings to work as a side affect once the aching draft wears off. We could pass it off as magical food poisoning." Lucas ignored the two as they took to scowling at him. If there was one thing the two Slytherins hated to do, it was compromise. Of course, that's what you got when you put to undoubtedly headstrong people together. Lucas often wondered how they hadn't managed to rip the school apart with their epic- for lack of better word- disagreements. Then he reminded himself, that yes, he was that brilliant for putting up with the ones he called friends, and smiled maliciously at his various methods of subduing his uncooperative cohorts. The only reason he got off so lightly when the self-proclaimed troublemakers caused trouble is because the teachers knew they would already be committed to Azkaban for murder if Lucas didn't attempt to tame his quarries antics.

Make no mistake, Lucas was the mastermind behind most of their more elaborate schemes, but he preferred to take the credit without receiving its due… reward. There was no doubt as to who was the most Slytherin of them all.

"… And where the hell were you anyway?" Scorpius asked Lucas, who had started to completely ignore them once Scorpius and Albus were back on speaking terms and planning a layout for their future misdeed, bullying Smithers into fetching all the materials they will need. " We thought for a minute that we'd have to fetch you from a toilet bowl."

As if it physically pained him to do so Lucas spoke, furrowing is eyebrows ever so slightly as he recalled the horror that caused him to return to the compartment so suddenly _cough_desperately_cough, _" Your psycho girlfriend," the word was spat venomously to Albus' face, " nearly mauled me in an attempt to find you."

Lucas' gaze was glaring deathly at the wall opposite him, where Scorpius' head would have been if ever he chose to get up off the floor. The said blonde scoffed at the thought of Zabini running away from Albus' adamant admirer. She had become the bane of their existence with her taken obsession and half the time they could have spent plotting, they had to spend escaping, hiding or just hexing her. No, they had no qualms about hexing that one girl in particular, the only thing that stopped them from cursing dead her was that bulk of a best friend that followed her everywhere. Not even Lucas was foolish enough to mess with Goyle.

Albus groaned, ever since Poppy had taken to him during those first weeks at Hogwarts, she had steadily gotten worse. What had started out as welcome support during his more trying times in Slytherin had turned into full-blown hero worship. The girl had become a bloody menace that wouldn't leave him alone. Not to mention the looks Lucas and Scorpius would give him as if it was his fault the girl thought he was the best, bloody thing Ever. He really couldn't deny that, but it would be nice if she weren't so expressive. For one-

"THERE YOU ARE MY LOVE!"

- Did she have to be so bloody vocal?

All four boys jumped and looked upon the nightmare that quite literally burst through the door. Poppy Lockhart was standing in the opening, one arm holding the unfortunate entrance open and the other, positioned by her waist. The gangly teen was already in her Hogwarts robes, her bouncy blonde hair in two pig-tails on either side of her head spilling onto her shoulders, and a wide, toothy wire-filled grin as she stared adoringly at Albus with large, sparkling blue eyes that seemed too big for her head.

For all the world she looked like one of those adorable little girls with the heart-melting bubblegum personality, and she wore it well, for one would never guess the conniving, evil, stalking monster that hid beneath, the one that the boys were all too familiar with.

"Go away Lockhart," Albus ground out, glaring openly at the blonde and her companion, who both ignored him. Poppy practically danced into the compartment before placing herself between Albus and Lucas, forcing the latter into the wall because the seats really weren't meant to fit three. Unfortunately, Goyle decided to take up their only escape root by placing herself in the doorway.

Completely ignoring the murderous looks directed at her, Poppy swooped in and planted a quick kiss on Albus' cheek before the poor boy could react and smiled cheekily, hiding her retracted fangs, " I just wanted to see you."

She said this from under rapidly fluttering eyelashes, using what Albus could only describe as her guile filled eyes to lure him in, he turned his lip up in disgust.

"I missed us not being able to be together all summer," as she said this she was getting closer, "Did you miss me?"

There was an unmistakably threatening lilt to the end of that sentence. Of that, Albus was certain, but he refused to fold to the psychotic girl inching towards him. How had she managed to get so close so bloody quickly?

"Jeez, Lockhart, get away from me!" The bespectacled boy snapped, furiously wiping his cheek, and getting as far away from her as possible, which unfortunately wasn't very seeing as there wasn't much space to begin with.

"Yes," Scorpius agreed, finally taking a seat due to the fear of being accidentally crushed by the gargoyle standing in the entrance, he was still eyeing Nastia when he said, "and take your mutant with you."

It was only as Scorpius spoke that Poppy's expression changed from that of a lovesick flobberworm to one of intense loathing. It was a severe understatement to say that the two blondes hated each other. Cold, blue eyes turned on Scorpius.

"Shut it you malnourished rodent," she snapped, " don't be jealous of our love just because someone wouldn't give your sorry hide the time of day." Lucas scoffed and Scorpius' eyes narrowed to slits, partially because he was sure Lucas' scoff was one of amusement.

"Listen here you dung-headed harpy, only addled brain idiots could interpret running and hiding as a sign of love, now get yourself and your hideous tag-a-long out before hex boils to your face to last the whole week!" Scorpius already had his wand out to do the deed and was going to carry it out whether or not the girl actually left, but then Lucas interrupted.

"Look," the darkest boy addressed harshly from his position pushed up against the compartments wall, " couldn't you welcome him back when your in the Great Hall, maybe feed him dinner or something," he suggested darkly, he completely ignored the pleading looks from the dark haired boy across from him signaling behind the girl now facing him with a most disturbing grin.

Throwing herself on Albus, once again catching him unawares, she bound out of the boy's compartment, kicking Scorpius roughly in the shin as she passed. Turning around once more, she winked at Albus, "don't worry love, you'll see that we were meant to be soon, I promise." And they were gone.

"Thank Merlin!" Scorpius scowled while rubbing his newly damaged body part. The pig-tailed whirlwind always seemed intent on injuring him.

"Be thankful that _it_ was easy to distract," muttered Lucas, tending to his bruised shoulder.

A sulking Albus was being dully ignored.

"I think we should start looking into repelling spells," Scorpius suggested, "ones with side-effects," he added with a wicked sneer.

From the corner where he had finally regained his wits Smithers added, "do you think there's actually one strong enough."

That comment caused the three boys to pause as they contemplated this, and they shivered at the appalling thought.

"There must be something…" Scorpius trailed off in horror. There was a haunting silence as fear racked through all of them.

They jumped suddenly when Albus stomped his foot, "I can't believe you just threw me to the pit like that." The boy spoke in a dejected tone contemplating the fact that he might have to skip dinner and start a search for new friends.

Scorpius raised an eyebrow, "did you just stomp your foot?"

Albus pouted, "No."

"Yes you did!"

"No I didn't!"

"Yes you did, didn't he?" The blonde turned to Lucas, ever the placater of their idiocy.

Lucas turned to Albus and gave him a look that clearly said that if he got pulled into this there would be hell to pay. The bespectacled boy conceded wisely, choosing to change the topic instead.

"Fine, there's something you should know," he said his face becoming craftily innocent and slightly sheepish. At the look on his face all eyes in the compartment turned to him. Smither's were slightly curious, Lucas, predictably looked bored and Scorpius stared at him warily, as if he knew where this was going.

"What?" The blond pushed.

Albus' eyes shifted to the spider trying to squeeze its way through the crack in the door.

"A contract may or may not have been made over the summer," he muttered quickly, totally beating around the bush.

Scorpius stared at him incredulously, "one you agreed to?"

Smither's furrowed his eyebrows and Lucas now looked only partially disinterested.

Albus rolled his eyes, "no you daft twit, but I had to slightly…. compromise," he finished painfully. The silence grew as they waited for him to continue.

"It's not all bad at least," he tried, "we just have to be a bit more crafty."

"Stop beating around the bush and get to the point," Lucas said bluntly.

"I'm not beating around anything." He denied testily though he knew he very well was.

Scorpius narrowed his eyes at him, "You are, now what did you agree to?" The blond wasn't about making this easier. Smither's, the weasel, was looking quite malicious at Albus being on the spot.

"Well you know how Lily is starting here this year," the other boys nodded in conformation, Albus had been lamenting the coming of his sister for quite a while, "well she's taken it upon herself that she's not to be the victim of any of our pranks."

"Really," Scorpius scoffed, "and how does she plan to manage that?"

At this, Albus had the decency to look somewhat sheepish, "she made me sign a contract."

Lucas gave him a bland look, "let me get this straight. Your eleven year old sister, who is now entering school and therefore can barley perform magic, has forced you, a second year Slytherin to do something against your will."

At the looks of disdain he received in the compartement, he wilted into his seat. Even Smithers was looking at him in – carefully disguised- disgust.

"I actually can't decide whether this is more pathetic or embarrassing," Scorpius sneered, "pray tell how she managed _that_."

The disappointment in the blonde's voice was easily readable, Albus had been somewhat reluctant to carry out their many misdeeds in the beginning, but Scorpius had to take credit for pulling the boy out of his shell, never mind they were constantly mocking each other and fighting. They were best friends, and it was therefore downright shameful that someone he associated with could be bent so easily.

Looking rightly affronted, Albus narrowed his eyes at Scorpius, "look, your lucky her terms were so basic, my sister's a nightmare," he defended heatedly, "and don't be so high and mighty with me, cause yours actually frightens you!" Scorpius backed down at the accusation and the finger in his face.

"She does not frighten me!" He said evenly. It was simply that his little sister, Lyra, took more after their mother in terms of behaviour as well as looks, and was therefore a natural born sadist and extortionist. If left to him he would simply speculate that he was wary of her, NOT scared. She was two years younger than him for Salazar's sake.

"Of course," Albus smirked triumphantly, and Lucas looked between the two, "I don't even see what the big deal is," he said, "Lyra isn't that bad."

Scorpius crossed his arms, of course Lucas wouldn't think so, he and his sister were kindred spirits, which only made it creepier.

It was now Scorpius' turn to sit in a petulant silence and be ignored.

"Look," Albus continued, "all we have to do is give her a heads up ok. Lily knows things about me," he scowled, " things I would much rather my parents not find out."

Lucas smirked at that, "and what was the compromise?"

"She can't warn any of my relatives," the dark-haired boy replied with a satisfied smile.

And really, you had to feel sorry for anyone unfortunate enough to share his blood at that point.

~ 0o0 ~

When Venus- Sibila Vera was her given name, but you had to agree, I mean, honestly what had her parents been smoking! - Had first started her training to be a Healer, she had often been asked, why she choose this particular profession, and often she had given the generic answers of wanting to do good and helping people- that was for the mandatory essay that would decide whether or not she would be suited for the job. She quickly realized the essay wasn't about her moral desire to help mankind, but simply how convincingly she could bullshit, because honestly, if your asked to write a 1-inch essay on 'Why Do You Want To Become A Healer' they aren't looking for your personal opinion she reasoned.

She had on occasion played the guilt card- this was pulled when she had to deal with the particularly whiny patients who did nothing but wallow in their self-inflicted misery, and in looking for validation to go on because they didn't know if they could take anymore of their sorry pathetic lives, she'd shut them up by saying in her most sinisterly sincere voice, how her mother had died a painful and agonizing death and the old bat still refused to give in, and if she could've taken it then they best stop bitching. She would then leave the patient in a state of shock and carry on doing what she was paid to do. Needless to say, she had served up a fair share of complaints and was no stranger to getting the boot.

There was also the typical answer given when she didn't feel like getting all sentimental and heart-to-heart, and that was the rather crass reply of 'the pay was good'. This was in fact a lie, fed by the fact that people dropped dead and got sick everyday and therefore a Healer should be racking up quite a fortune. Sadly, for people who were the one thing standing between a person and God/Buddha/Merlin or whoever you believed in, they were barely paid enough to get through a month's rent in a wood-rotted, mice infested run-down flat apartment. Trust her, she would know. That was most likely why being a healer was such a cutthroat profession nowadays, you only got paid if you were at the top of the ladder.

Regardless, throughout the whole ordeal she always managed to craftily dodge her true intentions about becoming a Healer, it was something that only those she considered friends knew, and those acquainted with her could only speculate.

She liked the power.

No, she wasn't some egocentric, "I am God" nut. She simply liked the control that saving a persons life gives her. Her friends would often tease her about the slightly sadistic tendency, but they all knew that if she were pushed she would play the hand of God and leave you to choke on your own blood and bile if you rubbed her wrong without a second thought.

So it was no surprise, on the first day of school, when the majority of students and faculty had spontaneously started oozing and aching with a sudden bout of blindness- that she new damn well wasn't caused by wizards food-poisoning- and after the 75th brat decided to make a mess of her perfectly pristine floor, she left. She walked out on the masses of children moaning and groaning in pain, threatening that they could see the light that she was all to glad to direct them to, and left them with the malicious hope that they would all fall out a window in a blind rush, and stalked down the unusually empty corridors of the Hogwarts castle to the professors lounge/staff room.

The door to said lounge room slammed open and startled eyes made their way to the newcomer to take in bubblegum-pink hair, a rose tattoo on the forearm, large bust, perfect proportions (these were taken in by those of the male persuasion), a flawless chocolate appearance and blazing gold eyes.

"Ha!" a voice that sounded suspiciously like Horace Slughorn, announced from the back of the room, "told you she wouldn't last more than half an hour!"

The person seated at the table next to him shook his head, "you got lucky," Neville protested, "she usually holds out for a good hour first!"

"Now, now dear boy, don't question your elders," Slughorn wasn't even trying to hide the smugness in his voice, "60 quid. Pay up."

The pink-haired Healer rolled her eyes and marched into the room before plunking into a cushioned chair next to one Pansy Parkinson before complaining, "I did not sign up for this!"

Pansy smirked, "what did they do?" She taunted, "puke all over your precious floor."

Venus glared at her; "nothing in my job description said anything about cleaning up behind the folly of good for nothing, trouble-making, little pain in the asses!"

"Kindly watch your language when you are referring to the students Sibila," Minerva McGonagall remarked as she entered the staff room, giving the young woman a warning look before getting a much needed cup of tea.

Looking slightly chastised and cringing slightly at the use of her real name, the pinkette sank deeper into the chair mumbling under her breathe about _'stupid good for nothing kids that should be put on a leash and hung from their toes, put those little bast-' _she quickly clapped her mouth shut at a swift glare from the headmistress.

Pouting, she turned to the only other people in the room she could relate to, "It's not fair!"

"Stop whining, you_ are_ a schoolnurse, these kind of things are to be expected," Neville said in an attempt to be helpful, which failed miserably judging by the glare he received from the already irate Healer.

Pansy snorted, "ignore him, he's a Gryffindor," she said smartly, ignoring the dirty look she got from the said man, "it's simple. The castle is an animal kingdom and all the brats in it are the wild slobbering beasts, you just have to be the most feared being in the forest and no one messes with you." She smiled wickedly, " It's all about the power."

The women shared a look, if there was one thing they both liked it was power. Those present in the room shivered at the thought.

"This isn't a concentration camp Parkinson," Neville said disdainfully to the brunette, "you can't just scare them into submission."

The pug-faced woman snorted, "Says you."

Neville's eye twitched.

Turning to marginally saner company, the Herbology teacher eyed the pink-haired Healer, "look, I know that patience isn't your strong suit," pink eyebrows narrowed dangerously, " and that you don't have a caring, maternal bone in your body," had he been a lesser man he would have quailed at the glare that received, "but they're children, and since no one forced you to take the job you can't just leave them there to die, that's more trouble than it's worth."

'_Not to mention his daughter is oozing all over your ward' _Pansy muttered slyly.

"Not. The point," he said pointedly.

McGonagall and Slughorn being the only other occupants in the room had been watching the youth with something akin to mild interest over their biscuits and tea decided that they should jump in before they started acting any less their age.

"He does have a point," McGonagall chimed in, " now be a dear and get back to your post, to put it crudely, you aren't being paid to complain, and Miss Parkinson," the Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher stiffened, "you would do well not to encourage her."

Both women grimaced.

"Fine," Venus said, and looking to Pansy, "but you better keep your spawn on a leash."

The brunette's retort was interrupted by a sudden knock on the door. Neville strode across the room and opened the door to find two nervous looking first years in the entrance, one of them looking rather green in the face.

The two students looked into the room and were tempted to just turn around and leave at the glare the lady with the pink hair was sending them before she looked away quickly at someone clearing their throat.

Thankfully, the teacher at the door got their attention, "can I help you?"

He asked eyeing the greener of the two wearily; he was a short stumpy kid with dirty blond hair and watery eyes, though whether or not it was because of the 'food poisoning' he wasn't sure. The kid in question, was being held up by his friend, a taller girl with dark hair pulled into one and crooked glasses. They were both Hufflepuff judging by the uniform.

"Um… well, we were… ah… wondering," the dark haired girl started hesitantly as all visible persons eyed her, the pink haired woman glaring again, "you see…. We went to the infirmary and it was locked, and my friend here, well he isn't feeling to hot," she gestured to the obviously unwell boy, "so we wanted to know if it was closed or if the food-poisoning was, like, contagious or something?"

The poor girl at this point had resorted to a fidgeting mess at this point under Venus' worsening glare, causing her to nearly dropping her friend. Throwing a pointed look over his shoulder, Neville turned to the two giving them a pitying look.

Venus had stopped glaring when Neville looked over his shoulder, but the poor man had looked away before he could register the wicked glint in her eye. She had been eyeing the sicker of the two and if she were right- which she usually was- the kid would blow about any second now.

"No it's not closed," Neville said, "the Hea-….."

"BLARGH!"

Nobody moved as everyone stared at the deposits of the boy's stomach all over Neville's pants and shoes. Venus smirked as the tall man looked as if he couldn't decide between fainting or disemboweling the kid.

Taking it as her queue as the children started to stutter out apologies, the pink haired healer walked over to the door to do 'what she was paid to do.'

"Hello children, I'm the school healer," she inwardly cheered at the horrified look the girl gave her, the boy seemed to be in a trance of some sort, "Sibila Vera, but call me Venus," she added threateningly.

There was nothing she hated more than to be called Madame Vera, it made her sound like some kind of witch doctor, which she technically she was, but that was besides the point. She wasn't some primitive voodoo artist. She had explained that quite explicitly to a third year when she first came to the school, the poor kid was still seeing a shrink for the trauma. Therefore, while the older teachers like to call her by her given name, the majority of students called her Madame Venus because she was as frightening as she was beautiful in the male students eyes.

Leaving a spastically twitching Neville and a hysterically laughing Pansy, she lead the children down the passageway towards the infirmary, hopefully the brats would have puked themselves unconscious by now.

Minerva took a long sip of her tea trying to block out everything and everyone around her for the scent of cool jasmine. Professor Slughorn would have joined her if he didn't have a class, as he took his leave he looked at his colleges pityingly.

"Ms. Parkinson," he said, "please pull yourself together." He was somewhat disturbed by the pig like snorts she was making. As for Neville, as he passed he didn't even try to hide his disgust at what the man was covered in.

"I suggest you clean yourself up boy, that is not a very good look for you." Satisfied at the haunted look that he got, he picked up his belongings and took his leave.

* * *

**A/N:** **I made you wait, I know but please don't make me... tell me what you think, I live off your reviews! lol. I really suck right... MOVING ON! I want to thank **_A La DarkAngel, MaLFoyMaiDeN, iciclegirl235, lilyre, iloveflyingmotorbikes, vampiremuggle, thunderstormtwilightnight_ **and my girl **_Midnight-Gem24_ **for reviewing my story I love you all even if nearly all of you are complete strangers which makes it kinda creepy but we won't worry about that right now!... I want to thank those who have read my story also and just never bothered to review HINT! HINT!... and whooo I'm feeling talkative- or typitive, which isn't even a word- but I am obviously having a random moment so please indulge my madness. Last thing, Promise. I have been dabbling with the idea of a Martini Gal chat corner. Just me asking random dumb stuff for you to reply to in your review and stuff so tell me what ya think peeps!**

**Over and Out... but I swear I'll be Back- hehe just stole Arnold Swacher-whatyermacallit- whatever, I just stole his mojo lol! BYE! REVIEW!**


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